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Virus an Trojan, bringers of Doom is the fifth chapter of War On Earth sci-fi roleplaying story. This chapter is closed.

For rules and overview, see War On Earth


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Virus and Trojan!

I do not have any idea on whatever happened there (Elidahad should know! :)), but... I suppose Dagu and Medea were destroyed, or something like that. Thanks to the plutonian ice, the weakened beam was totally reflected out from the solar system. But Pluto is on emergency state. Virus and Trojan, taking advantage of the chaos, kidnap the plutonian armada by infecting the androids (plutonians soldiers are always androids) with a virus, and now are going to Jupiter, in order to talk to Ralph Hitler.

  • Virus: The best thing is we even got the operative scheme of the pillow. We will destroy this human race very soon.
  • Trojan: Yes, but... first, we have to go to Uranus to get some hydrogen, we will have to rebuild the plutonian base there.
  • Virus: Laugh with me! Laugh, androids! The triumph is ours!

A horrible cybernetic laugh can be hear all around the space... even although space has no AIR!

...And the Peace Cannot Last

In orbit around Mars, on the Mercurial flagship Hermes.

Chamberlain:We've just entered Martian Orbit sir... And the system hasn't been destroyed yet.

Prince Grenyerd: Fantastic! It probably won't happen after all. That imbecilian, Drabu-

Chamberlain: Dagu, sir.

Prince Grenyerd: Yes, Dagu, never finishes what he starts.

Chamberlain: That may not be quite true sir, but I hope it's true in this case.

Prince Grenyerd: Don't we all, my friend, don't we all? Now, what should I wear? My dress clothes, my majestic robes, my street clothes, my sandwich-making apron?

Chamberlain: Not the latter, sir. Perhaps your Mercurian Military Uniform?

Prince Grenyerd: Oh, it's been ages since I've worn that. Think it still fits?

Chamberlain nods

Prince Grenyerd: Good.

Grenyerd goes to his wardrobe, and removes a green and black uniform. After he puts it on, he adds his medals, his Royal Necklace, and his Royal Sword is added to his belt.

Chamberlain: Flamefang might not want you to bring a sword into his palace, my liege.

Prince Grenyerd: Hey, it's part of the uniform. And anyway, I'm pretty sure that it would be hard to kill someone with a sword nowadays. It's merely for the looks. Also- damn, what the hell was that?

A huge vibration shakes the flagship.

Pilot: (Over Intercomm) Three vessels approaching us, firing some sort of laser.

Prince Grenyerd: Faction?

Pilot: I don't know, your Highness. It's not from any planet I know...Maybe Pluto, but they've withdrawn their forces. Could be Raiders.

Chamberlain: This just always has to happen, doesn't it?

Prince Grenyerd: And I was so excited about that sandwich. (Activates Intercomm) All crew, man battlestations, and return fire! Shoot to disable, not to kill. Prepare to board...Or be boarded, whichever comes first. For Mercury!

  • And all sorts of different ammunitions are fired from the powerful flagship.

(Also in Mars orbit)

Soldier: "My Lord, the Hermes has arrived on schedule."

Commander Flamefang: "Very good, prepare for docking."

Operator: "We have three strike craft coming in fast! Right towards the Hermes!"

(Sirens blare and lights flash)

Commander Flamefang: "What? But how did they get past the outer defenses? Open fire! All particle deflection units online!"

(Hundreds of turrets swivel and aim at the incoming fighters. Explosive railgun rounds perforate the ships to little effect.)

Operator: "But? What? The shots are going right through! Anyone on board would be dead!"

Commander Flamefang: "Fire the Harbinger missiles!"

Operator: "Roger that!"

(A swarm of missiles shoot from the station, some miss and some are shot down. One hits an enemy ship and attaches itsself. The Warhead burrows through the armor, then explodes, finally destroying the ship.)

Commander Flamefang: "Thats one down! Fire all weapons!"

(A blast shakes the station)

Operator: "We've lost connection to the defensive turrets!"

(An odd beam of literally black energy flies out of a marauding ship and destroys the communications array)

Opertor: "Dang, there go our communications! What kind of weapon was that? So destructive and so precise!"

Commander Flamefang: "How ironic, our fates now lie with the Hermes..."

Back on the Hermes.

Prince Grenyerd: How ironic, Mars' fate now lies with us.

Chamberlain: Why does that give me Deja Vu?

Another black beam hits the ship.

Pilot: We just lost A.I. maneuvering navigator!

Chamberlain': Switch to manual!

Prince Grenyerd: Damn it. Damn it again! Mars' orbiters are being attacked as well! What kind of damned ships are these?

Chamberlain: At least they've destroyed one of them, sir.

Prince Grenyerd: Get every extra person you can in the fighter bay to pilot an attack fighter!

Chamberlain: I regret to tell you that- (another blast hits the ship-darn, we lost sensors!- that our fighter ships are back on Mercury undergoing annual repairs and updates.

Prince Grenyerd: You were right, Chamberlain...This kind of stuff always has to happen to us. And now, we don't even have sensors! Tell all shooters to go on manual firing. Any extra guns?

Chamberlain: Two, sir.

Prince Grenyerd: Great! Lets stop being useless and get into the action!

The two royal men run up to the top deck of the Hermes, and man the remaining firing cabins. They turn on a private communication link between them.

Chamberlain: For Mercury, sir?

Prince Grenyerd: For Mercury. And, maybe Mars too, as a side.

Chamberlain: Kind of rude, isn't it, sir?

'Prince Grenyerd: Whatever. Darn, this cabin is only laser weapons. Want to switch?

Chamberlain: Alright, sir, mine's chain-guns only.

The two men switch between the cabins.

'Chamberlain enters the laser weapon room, which Grenyerd had just left, and the inter-comm beeps.

Soldier: Prince Grenyerd, evacuate your cabin! A black beam is about to hit you!

Chamberlain's eyes go wide.

Prince Grenyerd tries to stop the black beam with bullets (pretty useless).

The cabin is destroyed.

A debris consisting of metal, ruined laser-weapons, and royal robes floats in the space near the ships.

The remaining two enemy ships leave at impossible speeds, assuming that Prince Grenyerd Green of Mercury is dead.

Pilot: All crew, cease-fire! Enemies are out of sector, I repeat, the enemies are gone.

Prince Grenyerd: No... My friend. (Takes out Holographic I-Phone, and sets it to all planets)Whoever has done this awful deed, will pay! I dare you to come out, I dare the murderer's of my Chamberlain, and the new-found enemies of Mercury and Mars to show your damned faces! You've chosen the wrong pool-ace to mess with!

Meanwhile, On Uranus...

  • Virus: Excellent! Androids from all the system are beginning to rebel! That is OK! Go, my brothers! Our time has come!

Virus and Trojan had started fixing of the Uranus base. Very soon, they will be able to talk to Hitler, so they can give him the "pillow" layout, and he can start the destruction of the life. In order to prevent any human counter attack, Virus and trojan has released in the wide-range externet a virus that makes androids crazy. The uprise of androids has started

Meanwhile, wherever the !@#$ he is at this point... Ralph Hitler shivers in anticipation, giggling madly now and then, occasionally burning small, defenseless rabbits with his lazer vision. Just for good measure.

  • Ralph Hitler: Bald, meine Freunde, bald werden sie brennen...

He lazervisions another rabbit. In the Jupiterian Space Grammar Nazi Dictionary, the verb "to lazervision" is considered perfectly correct.

Robozombie Outbreak

The little Freddy is playing with his little cute android dog thingy when suddenly an evil wave of dark information reaches his home. His little dog stares at him, evilly. Freddy knows what does this mean

  • Freddy: Oh, no!!! My little cutty puppy has being turned into a soulless robozombi-beast of evil!
  • Puppy: Brains! I'll feed on your brains!

The sirens go off. People do not know what is happening. An emergency android runs through near towns warning about the dooming menace

  • Emergency Android: Doom Watch! No... Doom Warning! No! Level A: Doom Emergency! An outbreak of robozombies has started! Go to your shelters! Go to your... Oh! What a cutty pupp.... Whatchadoing!!!! (the evil puppy bites at the Android's leg, infecting it with the virus)
  • Emergency Android (with hideous voice): No! Not go to shelter! I need your brains! Please give me some!

People escape to the country, the cities are full of evil zombandroids. It is the same all around the solar system, zombified androids begin to destroy everything

A car is biten by a zombandroid, and it turns into an evil zombicar. The same with irons, washing machines, tvs.... every electric device biten by zombies is turned into an evil zombi, with no hope of turning back to normal. A zombi attacks a supercomputer, devouring its chip, and the zombified supercomputer goes crazy, wreaking havoc through whole nations as this supercomputer was part of the net that controlled the general operations of the planet. Planes crash, trains explode, everything connected on goes crazy

A guy with a referee suit is suddenly shown on tv

  • It is TV-news news-man Nortic Noroloam with a bad news to tell you all. A horrible robozombi outbreak has just started all around the solar system. Be careful, follow the instructions: Do not get close to any electric device, Never... I mean... Never... say phrases like "My brains are just yummy". As you see... this referee suit keeps zombis away from me. Everyone knows referees have not brains. So please use a referee disguise too. If everything goes wrong, begin to yell "Brains, I will eat Brains", so zombies will think you are one of them. Please keep TV's volume high enough so you can hear m... Oh, man! Wait! What am I saying? Are you watching TV?!!! The TV will hunt you down! Run! Run! Run for your doomed life! Run like if an evil TV of doom were chasing you!

The transmission is suddenly shut down. The only thing you can hear is Nortic yelling "My microphone is chasing me! The "filming thingy" is after me! Help! Help!

Zombies! Zombies everywhere!

People hide in forests, but they just forgot wild animals got extinct and they all were replaced by robo-cyborgs! Now horrible animal zombi-cyborgs are chasing them! They sure are doomed!

Leaving armada behind, Virus and Trojan go to Jupiter, they want to meet Hitler. Meanwhile, the other androids continue repairing the base. At the moment the base is totally repaired, they will be able to invade the whole solar system with no resistence now that androids are totally rebelled

(On Mars)

Operator: "Sir, we're getting reports of trouble from the asteroid belt...."

Commander Flamefang: "Well? What is it?"

Operator: "Well, so far our scientists are classifying it as a sub-light, assimilation virus. A Sub-light virus travels slowly, at least slower than a normal one which travels at the speed of light. And, well, sub-light virus's may be slow but they are powerful, one could destroy a planet's systems in days. And this one is, well... listen for yourself..."

(Turns on recording device)

Soldier: "Task force to base! Task force to base! They're going wild! The robots! Everything! *Static* What? What!!?? Aaaagghhh! its! its, eating my face! The speaker! AHHH! *Static*"

Commander Flamefang: "And that's what it does? It assimilates the systems of anything that has a basic AI chip? Like everything has an AI chip! This is bad...."

Operator: "Well, yeah we figured..... anyway, it hasn't reached us yet, though in a few standard hours we will loose all communication, then the AI chips will malfunction..."

Commander Flamefang: Loss of communication.... loss of communication.... hmm.... and.. what if we jammed ourselves?

Operator: "Well i guess that might work... actually it should..."

Commander Flamefang: "Ok, get the Hermes into orbit and send a warning to all ships to flee to Venus since they have more landing room, and tell Venus to Jam themselves as we are.... Then lets jam our own system..." Get the scientists working on a counter virus..."

Operator: "Yes, m'lord!"

On the Hermes, heading to Mars' orbit.

Prince Grenyerd: See now, those were good sandwiches. Although they tasted as though they were filled with tea leaves and sand... Lots of neat flavouring. What a pity about this virus thing. But even worse is the death of my best friend. Pilot! Come speak to me!

Pilot: Commander Flameflang has told his ships to flee to Venus. They are also jamming themselves.

Prince Grenyerd: Well, we don't need to go to Venus. At this time of year, Mercury is about the same distance. Lets head home. And lets jam ourselves, like the Martians. What else could we do?

Pilot: I first recommend warning all of Mercury's biodomes, starports, orbiters, and vessels. I also think we should use a tranversial feedback loop. If ever the virus did reach us, wit'd be sent through the loop, triggering alarms which would warn us, and it'd fly back out to where it came from.

Prince Grenyerd: Good. Do exactly that. And get all of our technicians to work on an antedote. Tell everyone to use technology as little as possible. Put all biodome functions on manual. Too bad we can't have organic ships, eh?

Pilot: Too true, sir, too true. I'll go do that.

And Mercury's most important vessel goes home, followed by a subspace signal of a dangerous virus.

Virus and Trojan finally meet Ralph

  • Virus: Ralph.... Finally! Hey... Look at this... it is my lastest invention, a robotizer machine, so you can be turned into a robot. What do you think? Dont you hate life? Oh, come on... anyways, there are the schemes of the Pillow... Wannawachit? What do you mean? OK... But I will not eat any rabbit... I will just destroy them! Bring me the rabbits! Oh, no! The rabbits have lazervisions! They have just evolved to protect their lives! Get out from me! Get away from me!
  • Trojan: Stupid evolution! Anyways, take it... it is the scheme of the pillow, use it as you wish. We are now leaving, we have to check if the android virus is working right... Oh, man! Can you please remove the bunnies that try to devour the flesh of my fella? Yes, I know he has no any meat, anyway, but these mutant horribly cute rabbits are just freak! Oh, well... Bye bye...

Virus and Trojan leave, they are going to visit Mars to check if the virus already is devastating the planet. Virus still has some rabbits chewing his metallic body, but that does not really matter

Inside their ship:

  • Virus: You know? I am starting to like these evil rabbits
  • Trojan: Me TOOOOOOOOOO...
  • Virus: Hey! Got an idea! We can introduce one of these rabbits into the cloning machine we have right there! Then we can start throwing evil rabbits all over Mars! They will destroy everything!
  • Trojan: Yes, you are a genious... Bring me the cloning machine! Mars will have the cutest horrible rain of cutest doom ever! It will be so cute they will die! Mhwuahahahahaha!
  • Virus: Cute terror! Cute terror! Ouhuhu! Ouhuhu!
  • Trojan: Hey! IT IS NOT THAT FUNNY!
  • Virus (ashamed): i am sorry... (more disturbed than ashamed) Eiam ZO ZORREE!
  • Trojan: No... It is OK... Now... Let's go to Mars!

(On Mars)

Operator: "My lord, We have a ship just entering through the jamming field. It's cruiser size but.. it's of an odd design sir... i can't make out the faction or even manufacturer.... wait a minute... I Have seen that before.... its just like the craft that attacked the "Hermes" yesterday... Wait a minute, update here... its launching canisters towards the planet! Orders?"

Commander Flamefang: " Scramble the fighters, even if it is larger than those previous craft our more agile fighters should take it out... then, intercept those canisters with missiles.... track their trajectory and send teams to watch the impact zones."

Operator: "Yes sir!"

Commander Flamefang: "So, is that the ship? (Points to screen)if it is.. it seems to be retreating..."

Operator: "Ah, so it is most likely due to the valiance of our pilots!"

Commander Flamefang: "No, whoever this is, they have an agenda elsewhere.... quick! before it leaves jamming range.... get as much information as possible!"

Operator: "Ok, scanning.... life: Negative, weapons: un-"

Commander Flamefang: "What? No life? Hmmm... perhaps it is a drone....."

Operator:" Its out of range... lets watch the missiles and canisters..."

(In orbit, canisters explode, releasing small, dead, bits of cute bunny)

  • Virus: Hey! Something destroyed the canisters!
  • Trojan: Look! Martian ships!
  • Virus: Darn! It looks like Mars has not being infected yet... At least not totally... Tell some auxiliar ships to help us escape

Two little ships appear from the outter space, kamikazing themselves into the larger martian ship. The explosion does not really harm the powerful martian ship, but it is a good distraction and Virus and Trojan finally escape

Slow Motion

Secure, underground, Hailey-protected biodome, Mercury.

Prince Grenyerd: What's happening to us?

Servant: I don't know, your highness. We're being stuck underground in fear of android diseases?

Prince Grenyerd: No, I mean humans, the solar system in general. We're fighting pointless wars, or , as you pointed out, hiding away. Whatever happened to plain old simplicity and peace?

Servant: As far as I know, that's never existed in all places at once.

Prince Grenyerd:I know that...But why? Why must we always do this? Damned greed, and selfishness. Caused everything...The interworlds war...Chamberlain's death... Why?

Servant: I don't know any more than you do, Prince.

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